One morning, Lynn noticed something on her pillow. Not blood, but a tacky fluid, and it was also in her hair. We found a bit of oozing from the area of the surgery. Off to her doctor we go. The doctor cleaned the fluid from Lynn’s hair and from the area of the surgery. She poked and prodded but couldn’t determine what had happened. We were sent home with instructions to keep an eye on it. Lynn was not feeling any pain or discomfort so we weren’t too worried. We joked that her head was leaking. Two days later it happened again and this time we went to visit the surgeon that did the surgery. She determined it was an infection, but it was under the skin where the surgery had been. The only option was to open it up again and clean it out thoroughly. Another surgery! This is unbelievable.
Lynn was in the hospital again after only nine days home from the previous hospitalization. I began having more bouts of anxiety and tears, and I couldn’t always hide them from Lynn. I was just so tired of seeing her in a hospital bed with IV lines and probes. Yet, she never faltered in her stoic attitude. The surgery was considered successful and we went home three days later. Just like before, the nausea returned, causing a lack of appetite, and Lynn became weaker and lost more weight.
Why did such a sweet, gentle and beautiful person have to suffer through all these problems? A broader question: why do innocents suffer, while horrible, evil people live on? Why Lynn? Why us? These questions haunted me. It seemed that God was not listening to me. My faith was shaken. Spirituality was replaced by disappointment. God was not my friend.