I was reading one of the blogs I follow and the author talked about fighting through each day, fighting to overcome loss and adversity. I reflected on my current life and my own battles to get through each day. When I first faced life without Lynn, I had to fight through every minute of every day. It would have been so easy to give up. As days and weeks passed, the fight to keep moving forward became less intense and less critical. I found ways to just pass through time and fight the battles as the cycle of grief came and went. Then I found ways to live my new life. Now I have days when I live, days when I drift and days that I have to fight though. I find that I can fight through the bad days with more confidence than before. I imagine that my life will continue to evolve like this.
I also reflected on my own blog posts. It seems like all my posts are sad and depressing. They are a reflection of my state of mind at the time. And, I tend to post when I’m down and needing to express those feelings. When I am having good days, I tend to be enjoying those days and not blogging. I haven’t been blogging as much lately which is an indication of better days. I just wanted to say that I am not sad and depressed all the time. The lord is blessing me with better days, now. I can’t say that I am happy with the way my life has changed, but I am learning to live with it while I wait to find my new purpose.
Peace and strength to you all.